Transforming Stress into Strength: My Personal Story

As far as I can recall, I never choose stress over anything and everything🥴. Agreed that I used to worry a lot since I moved out from home for higher studies. Not being able to cope up with the fast paced metro city life and its diverse people, certainly had me breaking down at a very young age. Funnily, around that time my worries used to stem from trying to understand people who were similar in thought process as mine. I felt conflicted on so many occasions trying to fit in and at times ended up hurting people unintentionally that I lost track of what meant the most back then. Had it not been for my parents, I would have definitely not continued on facing the world and its people further, probably would have retreated in a shell. I will admit that I was never the smartest or the wittiest or the noticeable kinds but I was sincere and hardworking and was content with my own pace. I believed in having a meaningful life. Yet, anxiety did kick in 😵‍💫through college grades, through once again trying to fit in, through having unrealistic career ambitions, undermining my own capabilities and so on and so forth. That’s where I think stress became an unwanted companion of mine.

Despite having made friends for life, having my parents around always as my support system, my brother being my confidante, I still did let stress take control of me for a variety of nonsensical reasons. Now, that I think of it, I was bothered by really dumber things like not having a boyfriend, not being the smartest in the room, not being pretty, being chubby, not having close friends from childhood, trying to set unrealistic academic and career goals and pursuing them etc. etc. I so wish I was not that dumb back then only to end up having inferiority complex. But life happened and I kept on gambling and struggling between the things that mattered and things that should not have mattered at all. Accepted, that one doesn’t learn life unless they make mistakes. But those mistakes made #stress my life’s constant🤕.

I lost a lot 😓stressing about the outcomes of my decisions, my future, loosing people and constantly doubting myself. I so wish I would have kept an open mind or wouldn’t have tried so hard fitting in with the crowd only to loose myself in the process. Had I have the guts to walk on my own terms back then, my story would have been different. Truth is I can’t turn time and undo that’s done! But in all this, my dear stress, you made sure that you never left my side🤕…guess you were more loyal to me than the world around. Even when I stepped into the next chapter of my life, I let you win over me more instead of my husband🙄😒 and lost the most precious feeling in this world — that of becoming a parent💔.

Thanks to you, stress, I now do carry a baggage of regrets, guilt, obesity and multiple insecurities in my mid-thirties (Sounds like a mid-life crisis…😬)

But you know what, stress — I have had enough of you now!😤

While I cannot entirely let go of my past baggage, I have definitely and slowly started to make peace with it. It’s only been a while but it feels good to listen to my heart more often and the cherry on the cake is that now my brain tags along too. That feeling of ‘Oh! What will people think of me’ has started fading away somehow, call it the mid-thirties effect maybe. Life ! You did teach me some tough lessons but you know what! — I am not afraid of you anymore and somehow this newfound self assurance — that I have the ability to spring back — makes me feel better on a daily basis🫡. To be honest, I still have a lot to learn and who knows may even have some more adversities to face too, but reflecting on my past from a couple of months now had shown me that despite everything I faced, no matter how silly it all looks or sounds, has made me confident enough somehow to face life head on and more than anything, I know there will be a lot more upsides and pleasant surprises along the way too like it all did till now..😊

So, my dear Stress, I know you still want to play a spoilsport even when I am penning down my thoughts now, but you know what — you don’t scare me anymore! So bring it on….and I will keep fighting you as and when you appear….😅! Toodles!👋